---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 17:37:37 -0400 To: tca-announce@venus.co.uk Subject: TCA OnLine Week 29 June 3 July SOFTWARE CYNICS CORNER The following are new system messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000 (thanks to Rosie Manise for forwarding) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. Close your eyes and press Escape three times. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." To shut down your system, type "WIN." BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington DC? (Y/N) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup PENCIL_PAPER.SYS User Error: Replace user. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word: "Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses. Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?" Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. back to bill